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The diaTribe blog is our occasional take on life, the universe and everything. Observations on current affairs, the environment, politics, humour and music/gig reviews. Travel diary and extreme sports stories, along with the usual rants/raves are also chucked in for good measure.

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Tag ArchivesFor the word: comedy

Oct03

Facts of Life

Laughing Owl

A few words of wisdom…

  • “If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot”
  • “The fact that there is a HIGHWAY to hell and a STAIRWAY to heaven, says a lot about anticipated traffic volumes”
  • “My people skills are fine.  It’s just my tolerance to idiots that needs work”
  • “I’m only responsible for what I SAY; not for what you UNDERSTAND”
  • “So…when is this ‘old enough to know better’ supposed to kick in?”
  • “Have you ever listened to someone and thought: who ties your shoelaces for you?”
  • “Be careful when you follow the masses…sometimes the ‘M’ is silent”
  • Don’t confuse my PERSONALITY with my ATTITUDE…
    my personality is WHO I am
    my attitude depends on who YOU are”
  • “I NEVER argue.  I just explain why I am right”
  • “I speak my mind, because it hurts to bit my tongue all the time”
  • “Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a lunatic asylum.
    Then I take a look around and realize…maybe I already AM”
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Jul12

More MTW one-liners

Funny one-liners from a recent epiosode of “Mock the week“:-

  • I bought a slimming magazine in WH Smiths. I didn’t read it; I just wanted the big bar of Galaxy chocolate for a quid.
  • I was in a lingerie shop; I asked: “are these knickers satin?” and the sales assistant said: “No, their new”.
  • I went to buy a Christmas tree. The bloke said: “are you going to put it up yourself?”. I said: “no, I was thinking of the living room”.
  • Bought a chameleon…lost it.
  • Why is it that when women go to the toilet in pairs, no-one minds, but when I did it, I got thrown out of the greengrocers.
  • I got into a fight with my acupuncturist…he said he had never felt better.
  • According to the vet, my cat is in Heat. I didn’t even know she was famous.
  • I bought an Advent calendar from a Jehovahs’ witness; behind every door is a little bloke telling me to fuck off.

…and more available here

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Feb27

Richard Briers: A Good Life Well-Loved

Richard Briers (Mar 2009)

It was with profound sadness that I learned of the death of Richard Briers recently.

Born in Raynes Park, Surrey in 1934, he was the second cousin of actor Terry Thomas (with the famed gap in his front teeth). Richard’s mother was a music / drama teacher and pianist.

Leaving school at 16 with no qualifications, Richard first took a job as a clerk, and briefly dabbled in electrical engineering; before being called up for National Service at age 18.

… more »

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Dec29

Mock the Week Funnies

A couple of my oldest pals recently splashed out on a new entertainment system and on a recent visit I was treated to a great episode of the popular BBC comedy Mock the Week

The particular episode had a featured section of: Unlikely Lines From Children’s Books and these examples made me chuckle:-

… more »

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Nov06

So Long Clive

Clive Dunn as Corporal Jones

Sad news today that iconic TV actor Clive Dunn, OBE passed away, from complications following surgery in Portugal.

Dunn was born in Covent Garden, into a family of actors and it was clear from a young age that he would be continuing the family tradition. He started acting professionally in the 1930s, until the outbreak of WWII, where he enlisted with the 4th Queen’s Own Hussars. He was captured in Greece and spent more than four years an an Austrian POW camp.

… more »

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