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The diaTribe blog is our occasional take on life, the universe and everything. Observations on current affairs, the environment, politics, humour and music/gig reviews. Travel diary and extreme sports stories, along with the usual rants/raves are also chucked in for good measure.

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Tag ArchivesFor the word: mock the week

Jul12

More MTW one-liners

Funny one-liners from a recent epiosode of “Mock the week“:-

  • I bought a slimming magazine in WH Smiths. I didn’t read it; I just wanted the big bar of Galaxy chocolate for a quid.
  • I was in a lingerie shop; I asked: “are these knickers satin?” and the sales assistant said: “No, their new”.
  • I went to buy a Christmas tree. The bloke said: “are you going to put it up yourself?”. I said: “no, I was thinking of the living room”.
  • Bought a chameleon…lost it.
  • Why is it that when women go to the toilet in pairs, no-one minds, but when I did it, I got thrown out of the greengrocers.
  • I got into a fight with my acupuncturist…he said he had never felt better.
  • According to the vet, my cat is in Heat. I didn’t even know she was famous.
  • I bought an Advent calendar from a Jehovahs’ witness; behind every door is a little bloke telling me to fuck off.

…and more available here

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