Rants ‘n’ Raves
Don’t know who originally did this, but I LOVE it!
Let’s put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way our pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselor, pool and education.
There would be private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ’s and legal aid would be free, on request and each pensioner could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
And as an added bonus…
Convicted criminals would get cold food, be locked up alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. They would live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Truer words are rarely spoken. Here’s 15 quotable quotes that pretty much cover what government is…and always has been.
- In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government.
- John Adams
- If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
- Mark Twain
- I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
- Winston Churchill
- Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
- James Bovard
- Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
- Douglas Case.
- Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
- P.J. O’Rourke
- Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
- Frederic Bastiat
- Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
- Ronald Reagan
- No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
- Mark Twain
- The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
- Winston Churchill
- The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
- Mark Twain
- The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
- Herbert Spencer
- What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
- Edward Langley
- A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
- Thomas Jefferson
- We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Doing the rounds but available on shitmydadsends.com.
A real woman is a man’s best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him
After a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to
Live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to
His most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most
Handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible…
I’m thinking of whiskey. It’s whiskey that does all that shit.
A friend of mine sent me the following recently. What can you say but … weep for the PRESENT (especially in St Albans!)
Idiot Sighting 1
Something is happening in Nebraska on the Platte River, that is heralded as one of the greatest natural spectacles in the US.
Every year around Valentine’s day, culminating in March and on through to April, hundreds of thousands of Sandhill Cranes congregate on the Platte River (South Central Nebraska), forming huge flocks and using the sandbars as a nighttime roost.
It proved to be a reasonably entertaining game, with an intriguing storyline; the chief protaganist, Desmond Miles is kidnapped by members of a sinister organisation called Abstergo, a corporate front for the Knights Templar. Desmond’s captors explain that human DNA is actually a complex set of ancestral memories, which can be viewed by placing the subject in a device called an Animus. The Animus allows a subject to “re-live” the memories of his/her ancestor(s) in a sort of Virtual Reality environment and in doing so, “unlock” memories which are then recorded by the Animus. It’s a sort of Medieval-Arabic-Ninja-meets-The-Matrix
A couple of my oldest pals recently splashed out on a new entertainment system and on a recent visit I was treated to a great episode of the popular BBC comedy Mock the Week
The particular episode had a featured section of: Unlikely Lines From Children’s Books and these examples made me chuckle:-