Navigation:

Find in this Blog

About diaTribe

The diaTribe blog is our occasional take on life, the universe and everything. Observations on current affairs, the environment, politics, humour and music/gig reviews. Travel diary and extreme sports stories, along with the usual rants/raves are also chucked in for good measure.

October 2017
M T W T F S S
« May    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  

Categories

Recent Articles

Archives

Friends of diaTribe

Blogs Worth Visiting

Syndicate this blog

What is RSS?

Other Links

Observational Humor Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory

Visit Blogtoplist.com - opens in new window

Visit Zimbio - opens in new window

Hate Spammers? Check this out - opens in new window

We Support Wikipedia
Wikipedia Affliate Button

Stop ISP snooping! Oppose Phorm

Stop PHORM!

If they have their way all your web browsing history will be collected and sold to the highest bidder.

Fight back!

Technology at it's most pointless

Rants ‘n’ RavesRants ‘n’ Raves

Exactly what it says on the tin.

« Back to Category Index

Sep24

Rave: Prison and Pensioner Reform

Don’t know who originally did this, but I LOVE it!

Let’s put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way our pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselor, pool and education.

There would be private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ’s and legal aid would be free, on request and each pensioner could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

And as an added bonus…

Convicted criminals would get cold food, be locked up alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. They would live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

+1
  
Submit to StumbleUpon
Leave a comment
Dec15

Truths about Government

Truer words are rarely spoken. Here’s 15 quotable quotes that pretty much cover what government is…and always has been.

  1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a government.
    - John Adams
  2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
    - Mark Twain
  3. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
    - Winston Churchill
  4. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
    - James Bovard
  5. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
    - Douglas Case.
  6. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
    - P.J. O’Rourke
  7. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
    - Frederic Bastiat
  8. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
    - Ronald Reagan
  9. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
    - Mark Twain
  10. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
    - Winston Churchill
  11. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
    - Mark Twain
  12. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
    - Herbert Spencer
  13. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
    - Edward Langley
  14. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
    - Thomas Jefferson
  15. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
    - Aesop
+3
  
Submit to StumbleUpon
Leave a comment
May12

A Man’s Best Friend

Doing the rounds but available on shitmydadsends.com.

A real woman is a man’s best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him
After a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to
Live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to
His most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most
Handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible…

No wait…
Sorry…

I’m thinking of whiskey. It’s whiskey that does all that shit.

Never mind.

+9
  
Submit to StumbleUpon
Comments Off
May19

Idiot Sightings

A friend of mine sent me the following recently. What can you say but … weep for the PRESENT (especially in St Albans!)

Idiot Sighting 1

… more »

+6
  
Submit to StumbleUpon
Comments Off
Feb15

Sandhill Crane: Nebraska’s Majestic Migration

Flocks of Sandhill Cranes

Something is happening in Nebraska on the Platte River, that is heralded as one of the greatest natural spectacles in the US.

Every year around Valentine’s day, culminating in March and on through to April, hundreds of thousands of Sandhill Cranes congregate on the Platte River (South Central Nebraska), forming huge flocks and using the sandbars as a nighttime roost.

… more »

+9
  
Submit to StumbleUpon
Comments Off
Jan10

Rant: Assassins Freed

Assassins Creed

A couple of years ago, I was browsing around my local branch of JB Hi-Fi and in the discount bin, I came across a cut-price copy of the original Assassins Creed.

It proved to be a reasonably entertaining game, with an intriguing storyline; the chief protaganist, Desmond Miles is kidnapped by members of a sinister organisation called Abstergo, a corporate front for the Knights Templar. Desmond’s captors explain that human DNA is actually a complex set of ancestral memories, which can be viewed by placing the subject in a device called an Animus. The Animus allows a subject to “re-live” the memories of his/her ancestor(s) in a sort of Virtual Reality environment and in doing so, “unlock” memories which are then recorded by the Animus. It’s a sort of Medieval-Arabic-Ninja-meets-The-Matrix

… more »

+15
  
Submit to StumbleUpon
6 Comments
Dec29

Mock the Week Funnies

A couple of my oldest pals recently splashed out on a new entertainment system and on a recent visit I was treated to a great episode of the popular BBC comedy Mock the Week

The particular episode had a featured section of: Unlikely Lines From Children’s Books and these examples made me chuckle:-

… more »

+11
  
Submit to StumbleUpon
Comments Off

Valid XHTML 1.0!If page contains a form it won't validate due to 'aria-required' attribute. We have chosen accessibility over validation. Valid CSS! Valid RSS! Valid Atom!

NoPhorm - No consent to intercept

Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 (RIPA) Notice

No consent is given for interception of transmission of any page in this site.