Rants ‘n’ Raves
Idiot Sightings
A friend of mine sent me the following recently. What can you say but … weep for the PRESENT (especially in St Albans!)
Idiot Sighting 1
My daughter and I went to the McDonald’s check-out to pay our bill and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece.
She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.’
She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said ‘We’re sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.’ and then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McDonald’s in St Albans , Hertfordshire!
+38Sandhill Crane: Nebraska’s Majestic Migration
Something is happening in Nebraska on the Platte River, that is heralded as one of the greatest natural spectacles in the US.
Every year around Valentine’s day, culminating in March and on through to April, hundreds of thousands of Sandhill Cranes congregate on the Platte River (South Central Nebraska), forming huge flocks and using the sandbars as a nighttime roost.
+37Rant: Assassins Freed
A couple of years ago, I was browsing around my local branch of JB Hi-Fi and in the discount bin, I came across a cut-price copy of the original Assassins Creed.
It proved to be a reasonably entertaining game, with an intriguing storyline; the chief protaganist, Desmond Miles is kidnapped by members of a sinister organisation called Abstergo, a corporate front for the Knights Templar. Desmond’s captors explain that human DNA is actually a complex set of ancestral memories, which can be viewed by placing the subject in a device called an Animus. The Animus allows a subject to “re-live” the memories of his/her ancestor(s) in a sort of Virtual Reality environment and in doing so, “unlock” memories which are then recorded by the Animus. It’s a sort of Medieval-Arabic-Ninja-meets-The-Matrix
+40Mock the Week Funnies
A couple of my oldest pals recently splashed out on a new entertainment system and on a recent visit I was treated to a great episode of the popular BBC comedy Mock the Week
The particular episode had a featured section of: Unlikely Lines From Children’s Books and these examples made me chuckle:-
+38Rant: Weasel Wording Down Under
And they wonder why we are all so cynical about politics… 
Heather English is a retired school teacher now living in Invercargill. She has been an avid amateur genealogy researcher for about 35 years.
+38Rant:History Repeating
Last night I had a dream.
More of a nightmare really; I dreamed that I answered my front door, only to find a bloke wearing a fake tan, a blue rosette and a plastic surgery smile that wouldn’t look out of place on an American home shopping ad, standing on my front porch.
Being the suave urbane sophisticate that I am, I should have asked the canvasser if he liked sex and travel (“then f*ck off!”). But the subconscious being what it is, I was forced to endure a 10-minute national party infomercial, starring John Key, along with an assorted supporting cast of the usual players, Muppets one and all.
+27Rant: Urine my heart
This was written by an Air New Zealand flight attendant in Auckland.
I’m damn sure I’m not alone in agreeing with him…
+29