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The diaTribe blog is our occasional take on life, the universe and everything. Observations on current affairs, the environment, politics, humour and music/gig reviews. Travel diary and extreme sports stories, along with the usual rants/raves are also chucked in for good measure.

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Tag ArchivesFor the word: irony

Aug22

Obituary for Common Sense

An Obituary printed in the London Times..

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

  • Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
  • Why the early bird gets the worm;
  • Life isn’t always fair;
  • And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,

  • by his parents, Truth and Trust,
  • by his wife, Discretion,
  • by his daughter, Responsibility,
  • and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;

  • I Know My Rights
  • I Want It Now
  • Someone Else Is To Blame
  • I’m A Victim
  • Pay me for Doing Nothing
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Oct03

Facts of Life

Laughing Owl

A few words of wisdom…

  • “If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot”
  • “The fact that there is a HIGHWAY to hell and a STAIRWAY to heaven, says a lot about anticipated traffic volumes”
  • “My people skills are fine.  It’s just my tolerance to idiots that needs work”
  • “I’m only responsible for what I SAY; not for what you UNDERSTAND”
  • “So…when is this ‘old enough to know better’ supposed to kick in?”
  • “Have you ever listened to someone and thought: who ties your shoelaces for you?”
  • “Be careful when you follow the masses…sometimes the ‘M’ is silent”
  • Don’t confuse my PERSONALITY with my ATTITUDE…
    my personality is WHO I am
    my attitude depends on who YOU are”
  • “I NEVER argue.  I just explain why I am right”
  • “I speak my mind, because it hurts to bit my tongue all the time”
  • “Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a lunatic asylum.
    Then I take a look around and realize…maybe I already AM”
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Aug31

Reciprocity on Republicans

Hurricane Gustav 2008

A few days back, a particularly dim Republican God-botherer called the “Rev.” James Dobson (interestingly, an anagram of his name is:”Demon Ass Job” lol) asked his so-called “Christian” parish to pray that torrential rain would disrupt Obama’s acceptance speech, at the Democratic convention in Denver.

But it seems that the Lord got a mite pissed off with that request.

… more »

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