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The diaTribe blog is our occasional take on life, the universe and everything. Observations on current affairs, the environment, politics, humour and music/gig reviews. Travel diary and extreme sports stories, along with the usual rants/raves are also chucked in for good measure.

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Tag ArchivesFor the word: politics

Sep24

Rave: Prison and Pensioner Reform

Don’t know who originally did this, but I LOVE it!

Let’s put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way our pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselor, pool and education.

There would be private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ’s and legal aid would be free, on request and each pensioner could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

And as an added bonus…

Convicted criminals would get cold food, be locked up alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. They would live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

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Jul31

Post-Brexit open letter to the British PM

Open letter to Teresa May

Dear Ms. May,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK ‘s economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

  1. They MUST retire. Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed
  2. They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed.
  3. They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed
  4. They MUST send their kids to school/college/university – Crime rate fixed
  5. They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week (there’s your money back in duty/tax etc)

…It can’t get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances!

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Dec15

Truths about Government

Truer words are rarely spoken. Here’s 15 quotable quotes that pretty much cover what government is…and always has been.

… more »

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Sep18

Politicans and Pullets

Election time has rolled around again.

With the upcoming Scottish Independence Referendum and the New Zealand Elections, here is a story for all voters to think about, when they enter the polling stations:-

Old Butch

Bert was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young ‘pullets’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Berts’ favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Bert’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Bert was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention…

Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells!

Idem dominus dux vetus adversus novam (meet the new boss, same as the old boss)

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Apr06

So much for granted

The news that Afghanistan voters have turned out in huge numbers today…in spite of Threats by the Taliban…is testament to the will of a hardy and courageous people.

After decades of armed conflict going back far beyond the cold war Soviet invasion and the subsequent succession of Afghanistan wars up to the present day, the Afghan people have lived under the yolk of virtually every form of tyranny yet devised. With the very-real Taliban threats to disrupt the election (in recent weeks insurgents stepped up shootings and bombings in the heart of Kabul), the population at large could be forgiven if – as some feared – they had chosen to stay at home.

Instead, they turned out in droves!

People stood in long polling station queues for hours, many in poor weather conditions. The biggest problem proved to be a severe shortage of ballot papers. The Independent Election Commission ordered voting to be extended by an hour, with ballot papers being dispatched where they were needed.

Could you get anyone here (or in any developed country) to stand in a polling station queue for more than about 20 minutes? Let alone in the pouring rain or as ground zero for a suicide bomber.

We don’t know how lucky we are.

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Jan20

Declaration of Equality

Lady Justice

Help make this happen – sign the Declaration of Equality

“We the undersigned are calling on Government Members of the House of Representatives to show true leadership by representing the views of the majority of New Zealanders – who believe that all people should be equal in the eyes of the law – by implementing the Declaration of Equality…”
- New Zealand Centre for Political Research

… more »

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Jul18

Rant: Weasel Wording Down Under

Weasel

And they wonder why we are all so cynical about politics… rolleyes

Heather English is a retired school teacher now living in Invercargill. She has been an avid amateur genealogy researcher for about 35 years.

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