Tag ArchivesFor the word: joke
Olympics British Style
DATELINE: LONDON
In view of the ongoing heavy rains in the UK, representatives of the British government and the London Mayor’s office have met with the emergency committee of the IOC to propose a number of 11th-hour changes to the upcoming London Olympic programme.
London’s Mayor Boris Johnson has announced that all Olympic staff will be undergoing SCUBA lessons this week and his office are currently in the process of buying up wetsuits, fins, masks and snorkels from every dive shop in and around the Red Sea. Supplies of diving equipment in the UK have already been appropriated and set aside for use by visiting dignitaries, due to their virtually-unused and near-new state. … more
+28Recession solved by my bad investments
There’s been a spate of stories in the press recently, where various industry pundits are heralding the end of the recession.
In true pundit style, the sources are covering their arses by throwing in the “but let’s not get overconfident just yet” caveats, but the gist of it all, is that things are less crap than they were not so long ago.
And I reckon that’s at least partly because of me.
+27Winter Poem
‘Winter’
by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre
Shit it’s COLD!
The End
+35Rant: British Gas – Adding insult to injury
I’d like to think this could only in the UK, but I suspect that’s not true…
Yesterday, I reported on how Centrica / British Gas had jacked up it’s prices by 35%, less than 24 hours after it revealed it made almost a billion quid operating profit in 6 months.
Unbelievably, when I got home this evening there was a package from British Gas sitting on my doorstep. The package contained…wait for it…four long-life light bulbs, and a booklet containing energy saving tips (which were mostly straight out the the bleeding-obvious manual).
+19New eBay category: Labour Peerages
Welcome to eBay!
eBay Account: tonyandhiscronies
Item Number: L4B0URRL14R5
You are bidding on the right to make a substantial, unsecured loan to the UK Labour party, in exchange for nomination as a peer in the house of lords.
This is a rare opportunity to be part of a classic English institution, until death (or a colostomy bag blockage) takes you. Only a limited number of seats in the House of Lords are available*1 so bid now to avoid disappointment.
+14