Tag ArchivesFor the word: economy
Post-Brexit open letter to the British PM
Dear Ms. May,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK ‘s economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
- They MUST retire. Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed
- They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed.
- They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed
- They MUST send their kids to school/college/university – Crime rate fixed
- They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week (there’s your money back in duty/tax etc)
…It can’t get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances!
+45The Vimes theory of boots
I am not one of nature’s shoppers. True, I tend to pop into town around once a week, but it’s mostly to pick up some single essential item, do some banking, get something repaired or swing by a bakery.
I’ve had the same watch for fifteen years and the same mobile phone for five. I don’t own an iPlod, Blackberry or any other similar hand-held gadget. I drive a 14-year old Ford and my TV is still a clanky old tube-job with a roughly square screen. I do confess a weakness for cheap second-hand books, CDs and DVDs in good condition (which makes me popular in the charity shops) and sometimes, I’ll pop into Waterstones to see what’s on offer, but that’s about it.
+24Recession solved by my bad investments
There’s been a spate of stories in the press recently, where various industry pundits are heralding the end of the recession.
In true pundit style, the sources are covering their arses by throwing in the “but let’s not get overconfident just yet” caveats, but the gist of it all, is that things are less crap than they were not so long ago.
And I reckon that’s at least partly because of me.
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