Dear Ms. May,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK ‘s economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1. They MUST retire. Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed
2. They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed.
3. They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed
4. They MUST send their kids to school/college/university – Crime rate fixed
5. They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week (there’s your money back in duty/tax etc)

…It can’t get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances!

+45