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About diaTribe

The diaTribe blog is our occasional take on life, the universe and everything. Observations on current affairs, the environment, politics, humour and music/gig reviews. Travel diary and extreme sports stories, along with the usual rants/raves are also chucked in for good measure.

July 2019
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Bad day

Just a Farmer

An ode…

It’s fucking dawn,I fucking start,
No time to eat or fucking fart,
it’s sure as hell no fucking art,
on fucking orchards.

Fucking stakes and fucking posts,
fucking wires and fucking ropes,
I must be just a fucking dope,
to work on orchards.

Fucking clips and fucking ties,
fucking pine tar in my eyes,
it makes me want to cry,
on fucking orchards.

Fucking mowing fucking spraying,
and fertilizer laying,
fucking weather’s got me praying,
on fucking orchards.

Fucking rules and fucking regs,
made up by fucking dregs,
do in my fucking head,
on fucking orchards.

Fucking tractors breaking down,
fucking tank leaks nearly drown,
and shit the water’s BROWN!
on fucking orchards.

Another day is fucking done,
and down has gone the fucking sun,
it ain’t a lot of fucking fun,
on fucking orchards.

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Busy six months

Queen Elizabeth in Sydney Harbour

It’s been a busy six months since, I last bunged an entry in the blog.

I managed to not get washed away in the very wet summer, which included a trip to Sydney back in March, where it was mostly just as wet as it was in NZ rolleyes. Still, it was good to catch up with some pals, have a few beers and laugh at some of the most bizarrely-dressed participants of the annual Sydney Mardi Gras, which – unknowningly – fell smack in the middle of visiting.

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Harvest Time

Speedy pickers. Photo: P.Mckenzie, Bandanna Club

It’s been more than 20 years since I helped with a fruit harvest on my folks’ orchard. Back in those days, when the orchard primarily grew citrus fruit, my folks would hire a handful of staff to help them pick the crop and we would work at a steady pace for weeks, filling bin after bin. I can remember some harvests taking as long as 6-8 weeks to complete.

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