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eBay Account: tonyandhiscronies

Item Number: L4B0URRL14R5

You are bidding on the right to make a substantial, unsecured loan to the UK Labour party, in exchange for nomination as a peer in the house of lords.

This is a rare opportunity to be part of a classic English institution, until death (or a colostomy bag blockage) takes you. Only a limited number of seats in the House of Lords are available^*1 so bid now to avoid disappointment.

We are an eBay “PowerSeller” (check out our feedback from from previous satisfied customers such as stockbroker Barry Townsley, property developer Sir David Garrard and food giant Sir Gulam Noon)^*2.

Good luck and happy bidding!

Terms and Conditions:-

An initial reserve of £1m has been put in place to discourage peasants, timewasters and liberals.

Once confirmed, bids may not be retracted. All payments must be completed within 7 days. Failure to comply will leave us with no choice but to report offenders to eBay and leave negative feedback on your user account.

Please note that postage and packaging costs are additionally charged over and above the winning bid, using the sellers standard rate of several thousand pounds (DHL isnt cheap anymore and if you dont want your Ermine robes of state to be lost in the post by Parcel Farce you should consider the insurance option^*3)

Finally, winning bidders agree not to vote against the government on any issues (especially those damn ID cards!)

^*1 Until the press nails us.
^*2 Don’t pay any attention to Dr Chai Patel’s negative comments…he’s just upset because his peerage got lost in the post and he hadn’t bothered to take insurance.

^*3 Insurance – add 10% to overall total.

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