Navigation:

Find in this Blog

About diaTribe

The diaTribe blog is our occasional take on life, the universe and everything. Observations on current affairs, the environment, politics, humour and music/gig reviews. Travel diary and extreme sports stories, along with the usual rants/raves are also chucked in for good measure.

August 2018
M T W T F S S
« May    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Categories

Recent Articles

Archives

Friends of diaTribe

Blogs Worth Visiting

Syndicate this blog

What is RSS?

Other Links

Observational Humor Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory

Visit Blogtoplist.com - opens in new window

Visit Zimbio - opens in new window

Hate Spammers? Check this out - opens in new window

We Support Wikipedia
Wikipedia Affliate Button

Stop ISP snooping! Oppose Phorm

Stop PHORM!

If they have their way all your web browsing history will be collected and sold to the highest bidder.

Fight back!

Technology at it's most pointless

Monthly Archives: August 2018

« Back to Archives Index

Aug22

Obituary for Common Sense

An Obituary printed in the London Times..

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

  • Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
  • Why the early bird gets the worm;
  • Life isn’t always fair;
  • And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,

  • by his parents, Truth and Trust,
  • by his wife, Discretion,
  • by his daughter, Responsibility,
  • and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;

  • I Know My Rights
  • I Want It Now
  • Someone Else Is To Blame
  • I’m A Victim
  • Pay me for Doing Nothing
+3
  
Submit to StumbleUpon
Comments Off
Aug18

Bad day

Just a Farmer

An ode…

It’s fucking dawn,I fucking start
No time to eat or fucking fart
it’s sure as hell no fucking art
on fucking orchards

Fucking stakes and fucking posts
fucking wires and fucking ropes
I must be just a fucking dope
to work on orchards

Fucking clips and fucking ties
fucking pine tar in my eyes
it makes me want to cry
on fucking orchards

Fucking mowing, fucking spraying
and fertilizer laying
fucking weather’s got me praying
on fucking orchards

Fucking rules and fucking regs
made up by fucking dregs
do in my fucking head
on fucking orchards

Fucking tractors breaking down
fucking tanks leaks nearly drown
and shit the water’s BROWN!
on fucking orchards

Another day is fucking done
and down has gone the fucking sun
it ain’t a lot of fucking fun
on fucking orchards

+7
  
Submit to StumbleUpon
1 Comment

Valid XHTML 1.0!If page contains a form it won't validate due to 'aria-required' attribute. We have chosen accessibility over validation. Valid CSS! Valid RSS! Valid Atom!

NoPhorm - No consent to intercept

Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000 (RIPA) Notice

No consent is given for interception of transmission of any page in this site.