I’m expecting to get quite a lot of flak from fellow Kiwi’s for what I’m about to say, but I’ll say it anyway…

Australia is awesome!

I haven’t been to Sydney since I was 6 or 7 and I’ve never visited Melbourne at all. So when a rather serendipitous set of circumstances set me on a Qantas flight bound for the other Great Southern land, I jumped at the chance.

Stunning Sydney

Even arriving in the middle of a fairly massive thunderstorm did little to dampen my spirits and within an hour we were checked into the conveniently located, mid-range Park Regis hotel.

One point worth noting for those contemplating a stay in Sydney’s CBD; if Auckland is the “City of sails” then Sydney seems to be the “City of sirens”. In the 6 days I spent in Sydney I estimate that I saw/heard a daily average of between 15 and 20 fire-trucks go racing through the city with lights flashing and sirens screaming – quite a few of them after 2am in the morning! 8| However, I understand from the locals that the vast bulk of these are false alarms, often triggered by office workers having a crafty smoke in some cupboard and tripping the alarm. Whatever the cause, it must be as frustrating for the firemen and women as it is for the hapless Park Regis guests, woken up at 3am for the 3rd time by squealing sirens!

Anyway, an hour after settling in, we were wandering through the Queen Victoria Building. In many ways the building represents the culmination of the Victorian architectural concepts; it’s striking features include the dominant central dome, fantastic mosaics throughout and a number of eye-catching stained glass panels (one of which includes a cartwheel window depicting the arms of the City of Sydney). Two mechanical clocks, both featuring dioramas and moving figures from moments in history, can be seen from the adjacent railed walkways.

In a brass-bound case on one wall is a sealed letter from Queen Elizabeth II, “To be opened in 2085 by the future Lord Mayor of Sydney and read aloud to the People of Sydney”. We can of course only speculate about what it might say, but I am willing to offer very long odds on the following:-

• Sorry, but one prefers Melbourne
• Waaaasssssssuuuuupppppppp!
• Wasn’t John Howard a prat?
• Can one still get a foot-long Subway with Meatballs and cheese?
• Get orf one’s land!
• As Australians, you are all shining examples of how well the British penal system used to function.

The following day dawned bright and clear, so my folks and I decided to take a stroll around Sydney’s CBD. We meandered through the fig-lined avenues of Sydney’s Hyde Park, through the adjoining domain and onto the rather spectacular Royal Botanical Gardens.

There are several noteworthy differences between green spaces in Aussie and those in many other parts of the world. Firstly, the grounds are spotless; not a single fag butt or chewing-gum stain marks the well-maintained paths and walkways, yet there are relatively few trash bins around the place and no shortage of people slurping on a coke or munching on a sandwich from a paper bag as they walk through the gardens. Aussies seem to care enough about their home towns to carry their trash as far as necessary to dispose of it properly (something both the Brits and kiwis could learn a lesson from).

Secondly, the grounds are obviously intended for real use by locals and visitors alike. Not once did I see a “keep off the grass” sign anywhere and throughout the park areas, people were making good use of all the space available; from physical pursuits including a couple of 5-a-side football matches, an open air kickboxing class and a frisbee-throwing rally involving about 20 people and a dozen pet dogs, to more contemplative pursuits such as lying under the shade of a tree with a book, or sketching a particular scene.

Everywhere you looked, people were interacting with the environment and each other; Families with young kids held picnics or held the hands of their kids as they toddled around the grounds or in a pool of water. Young couples sprawled on the grass, chatting, laughing and making the affectionate gestures of the newly in-love. Older folks strolled through the network of paths, pausing to admire a particular specimen of flora or to shake hands with a friend or two that they met along the way. When architects sit down to design these kind of open spaces, I’m sure that this is the kind of picture they have in mind.

Heading north down Macquarie St, we headed down to the famous Circular Quay, home of two of Sydney’s most iconic landmarks; the Harbour Bridge and the Opera house.

Sydney is a coastal bay city and much of it’s identity is linked with 70-plus harbour and ocean beaches that are reachable either by car or by ferry or water taxi across the harbour. Both the Circular Quay and the neighboring Darling Harbour are absolutely spectacular. Each features a wide range of shops, bars and restaurants which cater to pretty much every taste imaginable. A number of street performers add color and flavour to the daytime harbour scene. In Darling harbour I met an old friend for dinner and had the best Calamari I’ve ever tasted. Both harbours are at their best on a warm dry night, when the lights illuminate the bars, salsa clubs and restaurants which help make the Sydney nightlife scene well worth a visit.

Magnificent Melbourne

If Sydney has one drawback, it’s that (by Australian standards at least) it’s a bit hectic. There are rather too many shopping malls and department stores, packed to the gills with all that chain-store and designer-brand shit. There isn’t a whole lot of individuality to be found in Sydney central, although I am reliably informed that the chain-store influence is somewhat less, the further out you venture (a brief visit to Manly beach did little to confirm or deny this assertion).

Melbourne, on the other hand seems to have found a better balance; true there are no shortage of the chain-store brands around the place, but small independent shops, cafes and bars still nestle in amongst them and seem to be flourishing. Turn down any alley in Melbourne and you are likely to wander past (or into) a great little bar, music club, cafe, bakery or any other kind of small, independently run operation. Some of the more interesting places in Melbourne are to be found just off the beaten track.

Like, London, Melbourne is a river city that is divided roughly in half by the turgid waters of the river Yarra. The north bank is the home of the vast bulk of the office buildings, shopping etc, while the south bank forms a large part of the city’s leisure and entertainment facilities, including a large range of waterfront bars, restaurants and the Crown Casino. There’s a bridge every couple of hundred yards and no shortage of buses, trams (the largest tram network in the world) or other modes of transport to get you around the place.

For music fans, Melbourne is major centre for contemporary and traditional Australian music and has an excellent live music scene. During my short visit, I headed up to the Royal Standard Hotel on the corner of William and Walsh streets, for their weekly blues jam (Tuesday nights) and had a great time.

But the highlight of the trip happened the following evening, when a friend of mine also took me along to the Bennetts Lane Jazz club, which has been called (with some justification) the best jazz club in the southern hemisphere.

The club is located down the end of a brick-lined alleyway and is open 7 nights a week. You stroll past a nice retro neon sign and in through an archetypal red door, into a dimly lit and intimate little venue with comfortable seating, loosely arranged around a slightly-elevated stage. You could easily imagine that you were in a jazz club in New York or Paris, having stepped inside out of the rain, wrapped in a James Dean-style overcoat with the collar turned up. You might bump into Miles Davis or John Coltrane heading to the bar or tuning up; it just has that kind of atmosphere.

I’d never set foot in the place before, but the charming (and rather dishy) all-female staff greeted me warmly and treated me like an old and favoured customer, who had finally returned after a prolonged absence. Straight away I felt relaxed and comfortable.

It was excellent!

Pretty soon, my pal and I were settled in at the bar with a large glass of red wine each, listening to the smooth groove of the Albare band, featuring front man and Aussie acid jazz pioneer Albare, along with Evri Evripedou, Tony Floyd, Scott Griffith, Rob Burke and Joe Chindamo, performing tracks from After the Rain. By the end of the set I felt like I was walking on air and I made a solemn vow; to never again visit Melbourne without coming along to Bennetts Lane.

Like Sydney, Melbourne is very multi-cultural and has a number of thriving ethnic eateries. There are some superb Greek and Italian eateries and Chinatown serves some reasonable Dim sum for lunch of course, but for a really great Asian dining experience with a difference, you can’t beat a visit to Cookie on Swanston street, as I found out when another Melbournian friend took me there for dinner.

You won’t find your archetypal sweet-and-sour or something-in-black-bean-sauce dishes at Cookies! Every dish has an interesting twist in it’s flavours and presentation that make dining at Cookies a must-do when in Melbourne. It’s the Bennett’s lane of gastronomy. I can enthusiastically recommend the Betel bliss bombs (DIY- betel leaves, peanuts, lime, coconut, ginger, onion & dried shrimp with sticky shrimp & coconut sauce).

Also the steamed tapioca dumplings with pickled turnip and peanuts as well as the stir fried pork belly with red curry, kaffir lime and beans. I’m told that it’s best to visit in a group of at least 6 people, in order to sample a broad range of the restaurants’ fascinating and delicious menu.

All too quickly it was time to leave and as my plane rose from Tullamarine I looked out at the Melbourne with a great deal of affection; I hadn’t seen much, but I was impressed.

I’ll be back…

+27

  

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