diaTribe » What’s Up

Cyclone Gabrielle – Preparation Lessons Learned

Phil — Sat, 18 Feb 2023 09:04:45 +0000

2023 has been a tough year weather-wise.

January saw record-breaking rainfall across much of the North Island of New Zealand, with more than 260mm of rain falling on south and west Auckland in just 24 hours. In the far north, wind-speeds of up to 140kph were recorded. Four people were killed in flash floods and landslides and hundred of homes were destroyed.

But that was just the start…

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Where I find My Heaven

Phil — Sat, 23 Nov 2019 11:44:15 +0000

Orchard life is fairly tough most of the time.

Day after day, I struggle to keep up with everything that nature throws in our direction. Spring is often unsettled and the risk of damage to new shoots in the vines is high; an entire years work can be destroyed in just a few minutes from a brief shower of hailstones or a few hours of high winds.

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Why The Brits Dislike Trump (Intensely)

Phil — Thu, 07 Nov 2019 09:13:23 +0000

Fake News King

Someone on Quora recently asked: “Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?“

Granted, the question is blindingly obvious to an increasing number of us (even some Americans) but few of us are capable of properly articulating our feelings and position.

One Brit however, knew exactly how to answer and his reply is the stuff of legends!

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Origins of the Haka

Phil — Sun, 20 Oct 2019 07:04:26 +0000

Last nights RWC quarter-final between New Zealand and Ireland was a match to remember, with some class rugby played by both sides.

It was also a timely reminder to non-AB fans around the world:

DON’T mess with the Haka!

It just pisses off the All-Blacks and THAT motivates them like nothing else.

The natural response for teams (and fans) facing the psychological power of the Haka performance, is sometimes to attempt to shout it down, which is what happened last night, when Irish fans – in a spirited and united chorus – drowned out the Haka performance by the All-Blacks, with a rendition of “Fields of Athenry”.

…and that was a BIG mistake!

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Obituary for Common Sense

Phil — Wed, 22 Aug 2018 11:02:26 +0000

An Obituary printed in the London Times..

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn’t always fair;
And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
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Fidel Castro: Iconic Revolutionary; Island Tyrant

Phil — Fri, 25 Nov 2016 10:31:00 +0000

A few words of wisdom…

“If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot”
“The fact that there is a HIGHWAY to hell and a STAIRWAY to heaven, says a lot about anticipated traffic volumes”
“My people skills are fine. It’s just my tolerance to idiots that needs work”
“I’m only responsible for what I SAY; not for what you UNDERSTAND”
“So…when is this ‘old enough to know better’ supposed to kick in?”
“Have you ever listened to someone and thought: who ties your shoelaces for you?”
“Be careful when you follow the masses…sometimes the ‘M’ is silent”
Don’t confuse my PERSONALITY with my ATTITUDE…
my personality is WHO I am
my attitude depends on who YOU are”
“I NEVER argue. I just explain why I am right”
“I speak my mind, because it hurts to bit my tongue all the time”
“Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a lunatic asylum.
Then I take a look around and realize…maybe I already AM”

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Post-Brexit open letter to the British PM

Phil — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 21:34:03 +0000

Dear Ms. May,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK ‘s economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

They MUST retire. Ten million job openings – unemployment fixed
They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered – Car Industry fixed.
They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed
They MUST send their kids to school/college/university – Crime rate fixed
They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week (there’s your money back in duty/tax etc)

…It can’t get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances!

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